Sexual Health

5. Emotions and Body

5.1. Emotions

Photo. Sculpture by G. Vigeland

  

Most people have feelings of a sexual nature. The ability to understand these feelings and the prerequisites necessary to handle them varies (1). Individuals with ID mostly need help describing and understanding these feelings.

 

During puberty, various feelings of young people are awakened. They change as a human being. Like others, some youths with ID develop stronger emotions than earlier. Some can feel a tingling in their tummy; they fall in love, feel embarrassment, anger and other emotions. They also feel that their body has areas that feel nice to touch. We all need to learn to get to know our own bodies and emotions (2). 

Young people fall in love with pop-stars, the bus driver or another teenager at school. Some think about another person all the time. A girl might like another girl or a boy another boy. It is important to be able to recognise and express your own feelings and tell others about your likes or dislikes. It is also important to be able to identify emotional expressions of others. You should be able to define what a girlfriend/boyfriend is compared to a friend (1). 

It is a good idea for young people to learn to know their own body and emotions. A high number of young people cannot tell right from wrong because no one has talked to them about it. It is important to learn to know your own limits before you get to know someone else or before someone puts pressure on you to do something you have not experienced before. 

Parents need to lay the foundations and support a normal and healthy sexual development based on self-worth and respect for yourself and others. This is true if there is dysfunction or not. The foundation for self-worth and relations to others develop early in a child. For a PWID sexual awakening can be extra challenging if they are not guided towards a healthy development. The child needs to feel fundamentally safe and accepted. This is important for a healthy sexual development.  

A child with ID can be inconsistent in signalling their own needs and wishes, and therefore receives less stimulation for communication and activity (3). Interaction between parents and children with a dysfunction may also be full of worries and sorrow in some cases (4). To have a good relationship with your own body and experience good relationships is a good basis for further development. Closeness, tenderness and cooperation in the environment where the child gradually experiences being heard and seen are important factors in the first stages. 

Studies show that children who experience a lot of body contact and attention become more curious and explore their own bodies more (5). For children with a dysfunction, this early stimulus is of special importance because they are slow learners and need more time to understand how the body functions and how it can be a source of pleasure (6).

An example: People with multiple handicap receive body-massage once a week 

  
 

ACTIVITIES:

• All places of education should offer courses about sexual health (7, 8). You find the meaning of words, the feeling of using ‘sexuality related’ words, as well as experience ‘the world’ together. Talk with your child/sibling/client about the questions below and think of what these words means to you?

• What does it mean to be cranky or sulky, grumpy, happy, angry, insulted? How does it feel? Do they have any examples?
• What does it mean to be moody and what are ‘strong feelings’?  
• What does it mean to be gentle or rough? What does it feel like? Do they have any examples?
• What is a friend, girlfriend/ boyfriend, lover, infidelity, sex, lesbian, etc.? 
• What kinds of feelings are ‘evoked’? 
• What does it mean to kiss and hug?
• What do the terms closeness and warmth mean? 
• Does one have one girlfriend/ boyfriend or is it possible to have three? What are your thoughts/other’s thoughts on this topic? 
• What do shame and guilt feel like?
• How can sexuality feel nice? What are sexual feelings? 
• What does consent mean?
• What does “ambivalent feelings” mean?
  
  
  Watch the video below and talk about different kinds of emotions. Talk about what emotions your child/sibling/client think they have and/or struggle to express.
  

 

 

Alfred & Shadow - A short story about emotions