Ageing

3. Friendship and socialisation

3.1. Ageing and social isolation

Surveys show that older people with ID typically have a poor social network beyond the immediate family and paid caregivers (2-4). Up tp 40% do not have friends outside their own homes. By comparison, about 2% of the general population say the same (5). Results in this Norwegian study correspond to another one, including 14 women and 5 men, aged from 49 to 78 (average age  63). 74% of older adults reported that both of their parents had died. Only 31% had family members (siblings, aunts, etc.) they visited regularly. 35% said they did not have a single friend and none had a boy/girlfriend. Two people responded with a weak voice and with an expression that looked like shame and said that they did not know if they had any friends. One man said "I do not have a special friend, but it’s ok for me, I have my family" (6). 

In countries where services for people with ID are at a lower level, more older adults live with their family, also after their parents die. In this case you will find differences between countryside and cities. Studies also show that older adults have smaller social networks than younger people with an ID. They lack a system of support when they grieve for friends and family who get seriously sick or die (7, 8), which is an important issue. 

There are reasons to believe that older adults with ID are more exposed to loneliness, than older adults without disability. We do not know much about this; nor do we know much about their feelings/experiences of loneliness. We can assume that there is less feeling of loneliness among those who still live together with their family, even if they not have more friends outside the family. It also turns out that older people with ID are more vulnerable to end up without friends when those in their closest social networks die that is often the situation for those with older parents and siblings the same age as themselves.

_{Photo: Britt-Evy Westergård}

After working together on the book 'Friends', I have reflected on how rich Torill's life is. One reason for this is her family. They have always encouraged her interests and kept in touch with friends who share the same interests as her, including sports events and music. When she sometimes calls me and I ask her what she has done the previous week, I think of how poor her life could have been without her friends.

ACTIVITIES: 

• Ask your child/sibling/client how many friends they have and the quality of the friendship; how often they meet each other, what they are doing together and how they support each other?
• If your child/sibling/client wants more friends, ask what they want from this friendship. 
• Ask your child/sibling/client how they want to work with friendship to get the best out of it. Discuss solutions.