ELPIDA Course - English

Sexuality

 Picture: Two open hands Stine Kühle-Hansen

Many parents underestimate the importance of talking to - and preparing - their children and teenagers for the changes that will occur during puberty (11). See also the module Transition to adulthood.

It is important to talk about the body and feelings and what will change during puberty. These conversations must start while the person is still young, not more than 8 to 9 years old. Children and teenagers who have never been exposed to openness regarding their body, their feelings and oncoming puberty can get scared by growing breasts, pimples, as well as blood coming out of their urethra. Reaching age 12-13, many youngsters find it even more embarrassing to talk about puberty than when they did it at a slightly younger age.

It is often not easy to understand social rules regarding proximity and body contact between people. It is therefore important to have some guidelines from the time the children are small (11).

In the transition between childhood and youth, most people participate in role-play. Children are often stimulated through play with other children. It is therefore important that children and adolescents with ID participate in play with other children. Parents or employees in the school should arrange for the children to participate according to their level of functioning. Children and adolescents with ID often spend a lot of time with adults who do not help them in playing with other children. If the children play a doctor with dolls, you can help the child with the game. If the children play with dolls, they can also encourage children to play with sanitary napkins and change sanitary napkins on the dolls (2).

When you help boys washing their penis, you have to teach the boy to pull the foreskin back and wash underneath. If the person showers, you should leave them alone (if you can) in the shower. If they touch the body or the thigh during care, or in the shower, parents should not interrupt the action. Let them touch their own body and get to know it. You may say, “Now I see you are fine ...” Get out of the space if you can, say "Call me when you want me to come in again". Make some rules for how the PWID may be alone in the shower/bath for a little while.

Working with the person's independence in care and toilet conditions is important. There are several good programs on how to take care of personal hygiene (13). Being self-reliant prevents abuse because the person can handle such intimate situations independently, e.g. parents should not always choose a quick way to change the diapers of the young person. Learning an early warning can be used to increase the person's self-help skills.

Both parents and employees want to prevent sexual abuse. One way to do this is to allow PWID to recognize their own and others' feelings (2, 11). A PWID should learn to express their feelings and say a clear ‘no’, if someone tries to put their hands under their clothes. Parents must train their child in saying ‘no’ and respect them for this, - also in daily activities. 

People with ID have the same variation in sexual interests, preferences and sexual orientations as the rest of the population. Most persons with ID have little or totally lack resources for developing a healthy sexuality. They lack the knowledge and attitude. This is oftne not developed at an early age, as it is with other children. PWID who are taught about sexuality and socio-sexual norms at their level of competence, have a better foundation for making the right choices for themselves and function better in society. 

Acquiring an experience with kissing is an important part of the sexual development. Some may want to kiss lightly, or some want to learn to kiss using their tongue. PWID can get an idea of what it is like to kiss by cutting a hole in a tomato and asking the person to put his or her tongue into the tomato. Then they may want to rotate their tongue inside the tomato for a few seconds. 

Kissing marks are made by kissing and sucking at the same time. It creates vacuum. The skin will get slightly bruised. Parents can tell their children about this so that they know what their peers are talking about at school. 

ACTIVITIES:

·       How can you prepare your child for the changes that will occur during puberty?

Picture: body change illustration by S. Kühle-Hansen

Breasts grow and change, and can have different shapes. The layer and amount of fat in the breasts will influence the size of breasts. The development of breasts often starts with a small swelling under the nipple. The colour and shape of the nipples may vary from woman to woman. In the breast, a milk gland will develop. The purpose of the breast is to produce milk for those women who later on will have babies. Milk from the milk glad will be sent through a tiny channel out to the nipple(17).  

Some women use bra, while others do not. If you want your child to wear a bra later, it is important to start training the youngster to wear a little top early on, as may need a long time to get used to wearing a bra.

Discuss this video with your daughter/sibling/client: about using a bra

  

Pimples will appear. More sweat will be produced in the armpits and in the crotch. Hair is being grown during puberty. Almost our entire body is covered by hair. The hormone called testosterone decides how hairy we become. We get more visible hair growth on our arms, legs, in our armpits and crotch. Boys get a moustache, a beard, hairy chests as well as stomachs. Even girls can get more visible hair on their upper lips and their stomachs. For many people it is difficult to understand where this hair comes from, and why we smell different (17). The adaptation to the use of deodorant is therefore important to ease into if you want your child to use deodorant later on (17).

·        Discuss the content of this video with your child/sibling/client: Accustom someone to use deodorant